A part of me will always be waiting for you

No matter how hard you're trying to get over someone, I realised that we'll still have some sort of feeling for them. You start remembering the ways things used to be, and how they are now. And you sometimes hope that the new person in their life is still you, and everything is how it used to be, erasing all the bad things that happened. Time is supposed to make things better, but in love it I think it doesn't. Although we maybe someday we have been apart for a while,  have different loves & stuffs in our life, I'm sure I would still can't help wondering how your life is. 

Would you be my princess ?

I may not have the best of looks, the cutest smile, that kind of charming factor, I'm just really a dreamer, always dreaming of having you as the one and only, the one who really cares about me, the one who will accept me for who I really am. I need to prove the world that appearance is nowhere to be judged. I'll be here forever, waiting for your answer :-)

Why cant you see it ?

If I told you I missed you, would you care? If I told you I couldn't live without you, would you be there? If I told you I could be your everything, would you give me a chance? If I told you I could make you happy, would you believe it? If I told you you're the only one I think about, would you care ? Anyway why do humans need love ? I mean, why do I need to fall in love when I knew I'd get hurt in the end. I think I'm just so dumb and naive. I'm still young, never been to this kind of situation before. It's been hurting all the way. Now I know love is really a mess but yet, I'm still holding on this tiny little hope , one day you'll know how much you really mean to me.

Smile

Simply indulged, amazed, and fascinated by the way you made me laugh, the way you made me smile, the way you made me dying just to make sure you're all fine. Too bad that we can just be friends, eventhough I'm fallin for you even deeper each day :-)

Uncertainty ?

*sighs. I dont even know what is wrong with me. I think couldnt handle this pain anymore. I'm dying inside and nobody sees it. To be honest, since I'm trying to forget everything , I keep on pulling myself away from you. I'm trying as hard as I can , distance myself from everyone. But then, deep inside my silly heart, it keeps on whispering me to stay, to keep on hoping, to be patience a lil longer. I simply hate the fact that I miss you.

I just wanna be happy

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it. It's better just to surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard and focus solely on the good. I do still remember my mom's words, "There's no key to happiness, the door is always open". In the end, it's not about forcing happiness, it's about not letting sadness win. 

I'm good at faking smiles

I find that it's really hard to get you out of my mind. It's just so damn hard! I keep on trying to not having any feelings towards you. But I just cant. Really, I cant! This is just so depressing, think I've reached that one point where I couldnt handle it any longer. I do feel like dying at times. If only I had the chance to turn back things, I should have not know you in the first place. But then, the funniest part is I just cant let you go, eventhough only god knows how painful it is, I can't even miss a single day without thinking about you. I tried to tell myself, this isnt real. But in the end we both know it is real. You just cant stop making me feel happy. You just cant stop making me smile! That's the thing. How can I move on when I fall for you even harder everyday ? Anyway, you must be wondering why the hell am I still hoping, why I'm hurting my own self ? Maybe you must be thinking that moving on is the best option for me right now. Well, you thought wrong. It's better this way. Faking smiles is one of my best ability. It's fine. I'm totally cool living with this constant pain. In the end, I'm grateful to have you as my 'friend'. Just never leave me Princess.

Being in love with your best friend

Well, here you go. In all honesty, I'm in love with this one girl. I already know her for quite time since primary school. I've told her that I really like her that time but then what do you expect we're just 12 that time. We know nothing about love. Right after that one year , 2008, that was our last year together as schoolmate, and we rarely had a chance to see each other ever since. Only on facebook, but which she's not that active anyways. But, after about three years living this cruel world on our own particular ways, starting this year, we're now schoolmate again. Eventhough, we're not in the same class but then it's very exciting really, I get to see her again; everyday! It's like a dream came true. I never thought that we're gonna get to see each other again. I know, she might be thinking that I'm lying, well who's gonna believe it either if I'm saying that I do still like her until now. But, really its the truth! Then came that one moment where I just cant stand it anymore, I decided to let it all out to her by that one heart-filled text. It was such a huge day for me really but sadly it turned out to be a very hurtful and I just dont know exacly why. I keep on telling myself, you're fool Azhar. Why do you think she'll like you ? Few weeks later, finally I simply ask myself a thing. Why am I so stressed up hoping for something beyond this friendship ? Why? Maybe because I'm just so desperately in love with her ? Yea, maybe. The thing is still, why does the world has to be this cruel ? why is it we do have to fall for our best friend? Is it because we know we can trust them? Is it because we know them so well? *Sighs. I dont know. I'd rather die. I cared too much.